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Inside the Toybox

Posted on 2010.11.18 at 01:49
Current Mood: scaredscared
Tags: , , , , ,
Word Count: 602
Pairings: Dean/Castiel, possible Sam/Gabriel
Written for my unofficial Crack Bingo card prompt: Turned into toys. So really, this isn't my fault. Blame kirax2.
Sam, Dean, Castiel and Gabriel are all transformed into toys, except Dean is quite a different category of toy altogether.

an_angels_light is awesome and made a podfic of this story! <3

Dean stared into the ken-doll’s blue painted eyes. “Cas, you know I love you, but your lack of working parts is kinda creepy.”

Castiel lowered his head a fraction. Dean thought he’d probably be blushing if his plastic skin was capable of such a thing.

“Hey, don’t start on Cas,” Gabriel snapped. “Just because you’ve been turned into a giant dick doesn’t mean you can start acting like one.”

Dean wasn’t really sure if that made much sense, but he wasn’t about to fight with a lion, no matter how cuddly it looked.

Sam snickered, and Dean’s eyes snapped to him. “Yeah, ‘cause you look so much better than me right now.”

“Hey, I’m happy being a My Little Pony. How’s it going for you being a dildo?”

Dean really hated Sam sometimes. His little brother was such a bitch.

“Dude, at least I’m not covered in rainbows. How much more gay do you wanna go, Sammy?”

“You won’t be saying that when someone uses you for their ass.”

That was it. Dean had had enough. Being transformed into toys was one thing, but he had to go and draw the short straw, and all Sammy got was a little toy horse.

Before Dean really knew what he was doing, he leapt at Sam, and landed with a slap, knocking the My Little Pony over.

“Ow, Dean!” Sam yelled, and beat at him with his hooves.

“You know, this isn’t something I thought I’d ever get to see,” Gabriel smirked as the dildo flipped the My Little Pony through the air.

“This isn’t something I’d ever want to see,” Castiel replied, just before he was knocked aside as Dean hopped past him on his way to hit Sam.

“We should sell tickets.”

“Ugh,” Sam muttered, and hastily backed away from Dean. He’d somehow manage to knock the vibrate setting on, and Dean was wiggling around on the floor, moaning softly to himself.

“How do you turn him off?” Sam turned to Gabriel, panic stricken.

“Oh yeah, look at me why don’t you?” Gabriel frowned. “Cas, he’s your boyfriend, you go switch him off.”

Castiel glared at his brother, but then hastened forward. He attempted to kneel by Dean’s side, but couldn’t quite manage it because his knees weren’t flexible enough, so he had to lie down, Dean’s vibrating form against him.

He fumbled with his hands around Dean’s switch, but it was very difficult to do much of anything without opposable thumbs.

“Cas!” Dean gasped, nudging closer.

Castiel began to feel a strange tingling sensation, and as Dean grew closer and more insistent, his plastic skin began to heat up, and he felt a stirring in his silky smooth crotch. Raising one leg and placing it over Dean, he rubbed himself against the vibrating dildo, moaning as he did so.

“Oh, God,” Sam muttered. He was going to need the most powerful brain bleach in existence after this, and he turned into Gabriel’s side to hide from the hideous scene before him.

Gabriel, on the other hand, seemed very amused by it all.

“You can turn him up a notch if you want, Cas,” Sam heard him say. “That’s only medium.”

Sam buried his face into Gabriel’s soft form even further to escape from the ever increasing moans coming from Dean and Castiel.

And then, just like that, it was over. He heard Castiel sigh, and then the whirring sound of Dean’s vibrations stopped.

Almost an hour later, Sam’s head was still safely tucked into Gabriel’s side. If he could help it, he was never going to use his eyes again.


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copper_on_mars at 2010-11-18 12:47 (UTC) (Link)
*___* This fic is utter, world-shattering perfection. Thank you for creating this special magical moment. I laughed so hard my sides hurt.
xarixian at 2010-11-18 14:44 (UTC) (Link)
Aw, thank you (: I'm glad you liked it enough to do yourself an injury.
(Anonymous) at 2010-11-18 13:02 (UTC) (Link)
brb learning how to breathe again!

<3 <3 <3
xarixian at 2010-11-18 14:44 (UTC) (Link)
Don't die!
laraneia at 2010-11-18 13:03 (UTC) (Link)
This is truly the best kind of crack! Deep fried - twice at least! XD I want a cuddly Gabriel-lion!
xarixian at 2010-11-18 14:45 (UTC) (Link)
Aw, I want a cuddly Gabriel-lion too <3
aschmedai at 2010-11-18 13:30 (UTC) (Link)
uhm... this story left me looking O_o
It's so awesome, I think you broke my brain.
xarixian at 2010-11-18 14:46 (UTC) (Link)
Hehe. Thank you (:
I think you can fix that with cellotape and safety pins.
Lilith Rain
lilithrain at 2010-11-18 14:07 (UTC) (Link)
Oh that was brilliant. Silly, but brilliant.

Blessed Be
xarixian at 2010-11-18 14:46 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you (: I'd go for silly over brilliant any day <3
castiels_shadow at 2010-11-18 14:40 (UTC) (Link)
This has made me laugh so much, right when I needed a good giggle! 'Tis an awesome story. XD
xarixian at 2010-11-18 14:47 (UTC) (Link)
Aw, thank you! <3
Also, I approve of your icon.
artmetica at 2010-11-18 14:57 (UTC) (Link)
This was so funny I have tears in my eyes! X'D
xarixian at 2010-11-18 15:03 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you :D
shadow_artemis at 2010-11-18 15:14 (UTC) (Link)
I love you SO. DAMN. MUCH. This is perfectly goofy.
xarixian at 2010-11-18 15:18 (UTC) (Link)
XD Thanks. I think 'goofy' is the best comment so far <3
talli_approved at 2010-11-18 15:16 (UTC) (Link)
I don't usually read crack, but this sounded too good to pass up, and I was right!

So awesome!
xarixian at 2010-11-18 15:22 (UTC) (Link)
Yay! Thank you (:
Kevin Jones
mulder200 at 2010-11-18 18:34 (UTC) (Link)
OMG! This was just too funny! THe image of Cas riding Dean as a dildo is priceless! Poor Sam indeed!
xarixian at 2010-11-18 19:16 (UTC) (Link)
I think sometimes Sam would probably prefer not to have a brother :p
vivhasarifle at 2010-11-18 19:15 (UTC) (Link)
OMFG ILU!!!!!!!!

You reduced me to text speak with your awesomeness.
xarixian at 2010-11-18 19:17 (UTC) (Link)
The Mad Bennyhatter
earth_heart at 2010-11-18 19:27 (UTC) (Link)
*is a pile of limbs on the floor 'cause he's laughing so hard*
xarixian at 2010-11-18 20:01 (UTC) (Link)
XD I love your icon!
ebonyfeather at 2010-11-18 19:39 (UTC) (Link)
LOL- Poor Sam! Absolutely great fic.
xarixian at 2010-11-18 20:01 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you (:
miun lj
doriana186 at 2010-11-18 20:38 (UTC) (Link)
This was beautiful! Best Dean/Cas smut I've ever read! You should feel good about yourself. :Db
xarixian at 2010-11-18 23:00 (UTC) (Link)
I must say all these comments are probably bloating my head more than is strictly healthy.
yours truly
onebrightmoment at 2010-11-18 21:21 (UTC) (Link)
OHMYGOD. THIS IS AMAZING!! I am a little dumbfounded at how crackilicious yet *perfect* this is. and I really wish I could draw, b/c this would be a genius comic.
xarixian at 2010-11-18 23:01 (UTC) (Link)
XD Then everyone could be in Sam's position
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